Tummy To Tiny
Cherry and Elen from Rest Assured Sleep Coaching answer frequently asked questions about a newborn’s sleep patterns…
Finding out that you are expecting a baby can be one of the most exciting times in your life but it also life changing! A new life. A new baby. A new chapter. Frankly, it’s all rather overwhelming really isn’t it? Most new parents will have received the obligatory advice from well-meaning friends and family members - “your lives will change forever” they say, “get your sleep now while you can” they advise with a knowing chuckle, but what they don’t divulge is how to navigate the exciting yet daunting road/journey ahead, especially when it comes to sleep.
Ah yes, sleep. It’s almost as if sleep deprivation is a badge of honour to be expected to wear and to be worn with pride. We believe that this is not the case and, while sleep deprivation is almost unavoidable in the early days, weeks or months, there are small steps you can take to minimise this and prepare for what is ahead.
Most of the parents who attend our ‘Tummy to Tiny’ workshop want two things: knowledge and tools. That way, they feel that they are armed with the strategies to embed good practices and can pre-empt and address any sleep challenges that they may face. So, here you go: the top 5 questions and answers that every expectant parent should know…..
Q: Why is my newborn wide awake at night and so very asleep during the day?
Sadly, the short answer is that newborn babies have no concept of night and day (sorry). Like us, they have an internal body clock (circadian rhythm) however, there is a catch: it doesn’t come pre-programmed and so day/night is all the same to your little bundle of joy. However, all is not lost, we can help our baby to learn this, in fact, studies have shown that babies adapted and developed a more sociable internal body clock more quickly when parents provided them with the right cues about the time of day (Custodio et al 2007; Lohr et al 1999; Tsai et al 2012). The programming of their body clocks can happen between 6-12 weeks, so what can you do to support your baby learn this important skill as early as possible?
Getting plenty of natural light: during daylight hours: go for daily outdoor walks as much as possible.
Keeping the sleep environment pitch black at night: black out blinds are a must especially during the summer months!
Emphasising the difference between night and day: Start the day at the same time every day, open the curtains and let that natural light in to develop that body clock.
Keeping night-time feeds boring: Try to keep them in the dark bedroom and keeping all interaction nice and quiet to make them feel different to daytime feeds.
Q: How long should I expect my newborn to sleep for?
We all sleep in chunks or cycles. During a sleep cycle the body experiences a range of lighter and deeper stages of sleep. A 2 month old’s sleep cycle will last roughly 40 mins while an adults will last roughly 90 mins. Nature is clever (although slightly infuriating at times) as a newborn sleeps only in the lightest stage of sleep and the reason? Survival. Given that a newborn needs to feed regularly, a deep sleep may prevent arousal for the regular essential (if exhausting) nutritious feast. So, that coupled with a lack of internal body clock means that you shouldn’t expect much difference between daytime and night-time sleep. A newborn baby may sleep for up to 8 hours during the day and about 8 hours at night, however they may not sleep more than 1 - 2 hours at a time so regular night wakings are to be expected. Don’t fear! Babies do begin to sleep for more consolidated periods at about 3 months, with some able to sleep for 4-5 hours at a time- it can happen!
Q: Why does my newborn baby often fall asleep in noisy places?
Put quite simply, they have had 9-10 months of being in the womb which is an incredibly noisy place. They have heard the mother’s heartbeat, her blood pumping through her veins, the gurgling of her digestive system and, by late pregnancy, multiple distinguishable voices. So, asking a newborn to then sleep in a silent environment is not only unsettling for them but also increases the risk that, when they are finally asleep, they will be woken by loud, unfamiliar noises as they spend almost half of their time sleeping in REM-Light sleep. The solution then?
White OR pink noise. Not only will having this on whenever baby is asleep remind them of their womb days (making them very happy) but also drown out any potential wake up sounds and therefore significantly reduce YOUR stress levels. White or pink noise also goes on to provide a very strong sleep cue which will be super useful in promoting positive sleep habits later on. Win Win.
Q: How do I know my newborn is sleepy?
Before the obvious answer, they fall asleep, take a minute to think about what happens when you get tired. You might yawn, do less, start daydreaming into the distance or even start rubbing your eyes. Babies are no different and it is these sleep cues that you need to learn as quickly as possible. Once baby starts doing any of the following, reach for the swaddle, get your white/pink noise on and give them an opportunity to snooze:
Yawning/ rubbing eyes
becoming quiet, not wanting to play or interact. If very small, avoiding eye contact.
‘grizzling’ or fussing
facial grimaces, including pulling faces
clenched fists
waving arms and legs about
crying- but this can be a very late sign so try to spot the earlier ones if possible.
Q: Can I spoil a newborn?
Put simply - no. Feel free to let your newborn sleep on your chest, rock in your arms, sleep in the car or in bed with you at night. It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you do it safely: you can’t spoil a newborn (Take a look at https://www.lullabytrust.org.uk/ for guidance on safe sleeping).
Having said that, beginning to introduce some good habits from around 3 months old is not a bad idea and can really save you from a whole world of tiredness further down the line. For example, putting your baby to bed drowsy but awake will. Other tips include:
1. Cuddle your baby as much as you’d like - you can’t spoil a newborn and enjoy the time with your new bundle of joy.
2. Introduce your baby to begin to take naps in their cot or crib when you feel ready to.
3. From 3 months old, begin to settle and support your baby in their bed drowsy but not fully asleep. This will give your baby the chance to associate falling asleep in their bed without relying on you and will be more likely to self-soothe when they wake in the night as they get older- a skill that is well worth investing in.
A wise health visitor once told me that the sleep manual for my child had yet to be written and she was spot on. Every child is unique and there is no ‘one size fits all’ approach that works for all of them however, preparation is key and having a few tools in your baby sleep toolkit from the get-go can really help. As new parents, it’s amazing how quickly you become the expert on your child so trust that you know them better than anyone in the entire world and, above all, enjoy the journey!
For more advice, we offer friendly and informative Tummy to Tiny prenatal workshops that you can attend remotely with up to 4 other couples, just head to www.restassuredsleepcoaching.com, Facebook or Instagram, for more information.
www.facebook.com/restassuredsleepcoaching
www.instagram.com/restassuredsleepcoaching
Bio
With over 20 years of combined experience working with children and families, Cherry and Elen share a passion for supporting families on their journey to a better nights sleep. They first met teaching in the classroom and their shared love for infant development, coaching and digestive biscuits (I mean who doesn't love them) meant they were soon firm friends. Becoming mothers and feeling the true depths of sleep deprivation for themselves, it drove them to really understand the science behind sleep so that they could better support their babies’ development as well as rescuing their own sanity by getting some well earned sleep too! Seeing friends and family around them face similar challenges, they decided that they would embark on a new journey- together- to share the knowledge they’d gained and support new parents far and wide.
And so, Rest Assured Sleep Coaching was born.
